Month of June is really so terrible for mi?

I dono what should i do ...
From the beginning of da month of June till today ...
My days seem so horrible ..
Really don feel happy at all until today ...
I guess is da most hurting + sadness day i had ...
I told my self not to fall again ... why i cant just do it ?
I should climb up since the day i giving the last chance to him ...
Why am i fall again? WHY WHY WHY ...
Went to midvalley to haf some thai food juz now ...
Suppose to be happi coz meeting new frens ..
Who knows ... reach home not long ago somethin happen oledi ...
Was MSN with him ... f**king shyt happen again ...
It make mi cry again .. I neva cried for such a long hours oledi ...
Its really hurting mi badly ...
Talk on phone with frens & hope that it can make mi feel betta ...
But actually still fail ... Tears just fall non stop ...
Why am i so WEAK ???
What he has promise, he just neva do it & just told mi some lame reason or excuse to end our relationship ...
Things is not as u said den i will accept it .
Everything happen for a reason ...
If it is unreasonable , u don hope i will just let go lidat ...
I am a human & you are as well ...
I do haf the feeling and U DO AS WELL ...
I am not a thing that when u nid it den can haf it & when u don nid it you just throw it away ...
If you donwan to help to save da relationship WHO IS GONNA HELP ?
YOU ARE THE ASS**** WHO ALWIZ RUINS THE RELATIONSHIP ...
Say you are selfish ppl ... LAME!
That word can make mi die heart? Nahhh
Know your self hurt mi so badly & at the end told mi lazy to say & nothin to say to mi?
IF U DONO HOW TO APPRECIATE MI AT THE BEGINNING ...
WHY YOU WANNA HOLD MI BACK ???
WHAT IS THE POINT ???
FOR HURTING MI MORE & MORE & MORE ISSIT ???
It's 2.38am ... I am still awake ...
How am i gonna work tml ???
My eye is swallon again ...
Bad day ... Nid someone to rescue mi ...
My mind is goin wrong way ... I am thinking negative badly ...
How i wish i am dead now ...
I wont be hurt so badly ...
I can sleep 4eva without ani pain ...
KILL MI PLEASE .....